Legendary Warrior
by Psudocode Samurai
Summary: It was myth, legend. The one that had trained the Sage of Six Paths...It was worth the risk, he had to see if it was true... A Naruto/DBZ Abridged story! Humor, smack talking, and a pecking order.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Dragon Ball Z, or Abridged

AN: Ya…I have a confession, I love the Abridged crew, be it DBZ, Hellsing, or the Two Saiyans Play bits, I just can't get enough if it, so I had this fun idea implant itself, though the funny thing is I haven't watched the Naruto Abridged yet…

I'm kinda afraid to…

DBZ/Naruto stories are, at their core, the ultimate god mode stories to me. There is nothing in the Naruto setting that can even stand up to Krillin, let alone a Saiyan, so ya, Naruto is going to seem stupid strong in this, that's the point, it's Abridged, it's funny, just have fun with it!

A note, Naruto's look in the exams is that of Gogeta, I almost just gave him Goku's outfit given the love of orange, but I opted to make him look more like Popo.

Not sure if this is going to be a full story or just a bit of fun when I'm bored, but I'm _really_ tempted to keep it going. Regardless, I invite others to use this as a starter if they feel the urge, just change the title from mine and give credit where it's due if you would ^_^

* * *

Legendary Warrior  
Chapter One: Pecking Order

* * *

His nose wrinkled slightly as he opened a well worn wooden box, the sweet scent of cherry pipe tobacco overcoming him as he dipped a small amount of the leaf from its resting place.

The tin was a gift from his late wife; a picture of the duo when they were still Chunin adorned the inside of the lid. It was a simple thing in most regards. A heavy mahogany that had been etched with several vines and small flowers, all inlaid with mother of pearl and crushed jade.

Lovely, simple and perfect for its job, something his beloved was very keen on be it the every-day life about the house or in her ninja duties.

This was one of his most cherished possessions, something that would be with him to the end of his days, then it would pass to Asuma, or perhaps Konohamaru, considering that his son preferred the rather harsh tabac from a traditional cigarette.

Yes, Konohamaru would appreciate it quite a bit he thought, even if he only used it to store some smoke bombs or the like.

He carefully filled the pipe and tamped it down, the pressure activating a special seal in the bowl that caused the leaf to instantly light.

Puff puff…a good, calm day…

With a resounding crash the door was kicked open before a blond whirlwind entered, the boy looking more than a bit distraught as he stomped up to the desk.

Oh but for a moment to enjoy the little things… "Well…how can I help _you_ today Natuto?"

The boy's progress has stalled a bit at seeing the quite cross look from the old man, but still, he had a good head of steam built up, so it didn't slow him for long. "Old Man, I need help training, is there any way you can help me!? I need to get as strong as I can before the finals!"

A twitch of an eyebrow. He loved the boy, he really did…but sometimes…just sometimes…he wanted to smother him….

If only he had a ryo for ever time he thought that about his ninja…Kakashi alone would have funded a trip to Tea Country….

"Naruto, you know I can't show favoritism like that to anyone, beyond that, you have Kakashi to train you, he's one of the very best in our corp. shouldn't you be with him?"

The scowl from the young ninja was rather shocking, He wasn't sure Naruto knew _how_ to make a face like that… "_Kakashi_…he said he didn't have _time_ to teach someone like me, said that he knew that Neji would win anyway and needed to devote his time '_to someone that had a chance of winning_'_, _the damned hypocrite…."

That made the aged leader's eyes widen, _Kakashi_ had said that? To his sensei's son nonetheless….

Oh no…that just wouldn't do.

"He didn't try and do anything for you?"

Naruto scratched one cheek slightly, the sign of a bit of embarrassment, "Well he claimed that he had set up a replacement, but it was just the closet pervert, that one you have teaching Konohamaru. And even I can beat that guy, he was nothing special."

The Kage snorted at that, he remembered the blonds' 'win' over the special jonin. Though right now the same boy seemed to be forgetting that he had even defeated his Kage with such an attack…the lesser variation at that. Still, he understood the boy's frustration, what could Kakashi be thinking…

"Regardless Naruto, I'm afraid I can't be the one to train you, as I said it would be seen as favoritism, and beyond that my work here takes up far too much of my time…" Sarutobi scowled at the piles of paperwork, most of this just the permissions from the various nobles and rival villages that wanted to attend the exam finals.

"But you can just use clones for that cant you? Then you could help me!" He had gotten feedback from his clones before, he knew that they could be used to such a benefit; however, he still didn't have anything to train in. Just sparing with them wasn't doing him much good other than getting his body into shape.

The Kage just stared owlishly at the blond for several long moments, unnerving the boy a great deal before he sent a glare that could freeze a volcano at the picture of the fourth. '_When I die, your ass is __**mine**__ Minato!'_ With a sigh the man made two clones that looked just as annoyed at the prospect of doing the work, but soldiered on just like he knew they would. "Naruto, despite how much I want to help you, especially for reminding of this little trick, it would still be seen as favoring one of my ninja over the others. However, I can at least point you in the right direction I think…"

With that, Sarutobi lead the young ninja out of the office and down deeper into the tower. Finally after a rather long, meandering path the duo arrived at the Hokage's personal library, standing there made Naruto's eyes widen, even _he _hadn't dared to enter here. Some of the greatest secrets of the leaf could be found inside, jutsu the likes of which Sasuke would be foaming at the mouth to learn.

"Naruto, I'm going to do something special for you. You and I will enter here, and I will let you pick out one book or scroll, I will then check to ensure that it won't be too dangerous to you, or your opponent, then you may check it out until such a time as you have finished with it. You helped me deal with a terror that has been consuming most of my time for the last ten years of my life. If anyone has an issue with this then tell them to come see me. I know some will object, but the fact that I'm making you learn this on your own, and ensuring that it's not to beyond you and yours should sate them."

The blond looked to his 'grandfather' before hugging him tightly around the middle, this was the best thing that had happened to him! Now he could deal with that prick and keep his promise to Hinata, win win! With a blur the boy was in the room, causing a dry chuckle to fill the room from the Kage.

This was going to be interesting…

* * *

For Hiruzen Sarutobi this was a rather entertaining turn of events. Seeing Naruto running around the library like a chicken with his head cut off for the last two hours. He'd been through as much as he could find, be it bloodline techniques, sealing, summoning, it had all be turned upside down before a batch of his clones swooped in to clean the place up.

Hey, he was going to be Hokage one day, he had to keep his library tidy.

After this long stretch, to his surprise, the blond had grabbed a rather old looking book, the pages well weathered and the cover looking as though it were about to fall off, the title long sense worn away from time. Yet this seemed to entice the boy if nothing else. He was now sitting, the clones behind him reading over his shoulder and looking to be just as lost in the pages as their creator. As much as he was enjoying this, it was technically a breach of their deal and cleared his throat, making the group jump.

Seeing fifteen copies of the same person all jump in fright was a first for him…

"Now Naruto, I told you that you could pick something, then I would okay it, not that you could read all you wanted while I wait…"

The teen gave a bashful laugh while scratching the back of his head, "Hehe…well…I wanted to pick the right thing, this is a once in a lifetime chance!"

He nodded, "I know, but you must adhere to the agreement, or I will ask you to leave now."

He seemed to pale at that, "N-No way, um…well…how about this then? B-but if you let me have it, then I need to be able to leave to use it!"

Sarutobi took the old book carefully; the age alone had him wanting to turn Naruto down, not to mention this other caveat, but his curiosity was peaked, and he _was_ the Professor, he had to find out what he meant. Opening the book carefully he was surprised to see it was a book of legends, ones dating back to the time of the Sage of Six Paths, was Naruto wanting to try and find one of the legendary artifacts? "Naruto…these are just myths, why would you want to throw away this chance on something like this?"

The boy gave something of a half shrug, "I-I don't know, for some reason I just feel…drawn to this…I can't explain it…"

The old man chewed lightly on his pipe, "I see…and about leaving?"

"Look at chapter four, it says that there was a legendary immortal master! I want to see if he's still there!"

The excitement put a smile on the man's face, however this was all a bit much for him… "Naruto, you know that I ca-"

"Please old man! I-I'll even pay for a mission! Someone to take me out there and back, it shouldn't take too long to just look right!"

Oh Kami…not the eyes…the little kit eyes…worse than the puppy…damnit…He gave a heavy sigh before slightly nodding, "Alright Naruto, I'll allow it', the blond leapt into the air in a whoop of joy only to be snatched by the back of his jacket, 'BUT! This will be a mission that _you_ pay for, C rank, and it's just to go out and come back, and only once you have finished reading this and have an idea where to look. After this, you can't come back to me and complain, asking for a new technique. Regardless of the outcome, this will affect your chances in the exam you know, I want you to think carefully on this…"

A steely look came over Naruto's eyes, making a small smile form on Sarutobi, oh to be young and full of dreams… "I know Old Man, but if there is a chance…just a chance that he's still out there, I want to try…"

He gave a nod, "Very well Naruto, go start your research, and from there we will see about your mission."

* * *

In the end, Naruto wasn't seen for a week and a half, not by anyone. In that time both Ebisu and his own student Jiraiya had both inquired about the teen only to be told that he was doing some rather intense studying for an upcoming mission. For Ebisu that was a godsend, it let him go back to his normal duties and not have to deal with the _Kyuubi brat_.

That got the man a short stent in the detention block and a fine…a fine that would be _just_ enough to cover Naruto's mission.

As to Jiraiya he had been rather put out. He had specifically come back in hopes of teaching the brat only to have him vanish. When he had asked what it was the boy was studying, hoping that it may have been seals or chakra control, he was disappointed to learn that of all things it was _history,_ and ancient history at that!? What in the world had they done to Minato's son!

"You can't be serious Sensei…From what I've heard of the kid he couldn't even spell 'history' yet now he's studying ancient myths? Next you're going to tell me that Orochi-teme is teaching at the academy and feeding orphans on the weekends…"

That caused the old man's teeth to grind, Orochimaru was still a _VERY _sore subject for him, "I assure you, I'm quite serious, after being tossed aside by Kakashi Naruto came to me quite desperate for a teacher. After a rather enlightening conversation I offered up a technique from my personal library', the Sage's eyes widened at that, even he never had that privilege, 'and this was his choice. Weather he passes or fails the exam is now in his hands."

"But Sensei, you know as well as I do that this is silly, he needs proper training! I was planning on letting him sign the toad contract and getting a start on him using the Ky-"

A sudden spike in chakra silenced the Sannin as Sarutobi stood suddenly, "You were _what!?_"

He was now sweating heavily, being sharply reminded just who this man was, the God of Shinobi, "I-I was going to start teaching him how to use the fox's chakra?"

Those eyes became steel, "Wrong answer. As of this moment Jiraiya you are not to go near him. If there are things you want him to learn write them down and give them to me, I'll pass them on. If I even hear a _mention_ of you near him then we are going to have a _very_ unpleasant time, do you understand me?"

As afraid of his sensei as he was, the Sannin wasn't about to cave that easily, "You can't do that! I'm his godfather for Kami's sake! Minato wanted m-"

Sarutobi's fist hit the desk with a thunderous crack, "He would have wanted you to take care of his son! Not to be off chasing Orochimaru like you have been for the last twenty years! You lost any rights you thought you had when you left him in an orphanage and walked out those gates! Now I expect copies of both the Rasengan and what you have on the Harishin on my desk by the time the exams start! If I don't then consider your traveling rights revoked!"

"B-But you can't! My spy network needs me!"

"They have ways to get in contact with you I'm sure. Now you have my orders, be gone!"

The Sage could only gape for several long moments before nodding and heading out of the tower, utterly missing the young man walking past him while he was lost in thought.

"Hey Old Man! I'm finished with my research!"

* * *

How the hell did it come to this?

She was a Special Jonin for crying out loud! How did she get drafted into babysitting this crazy Genin on an even crazier quest!?

"Are we there yet?"

"No…"

"Are we there yet?"

"No…"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

"Are we there yet?"

"_**NO!**__"_

"Hey Naruto?"

"_**WHAT!?**_"

"Can we stop in Tanzaku Town?"

"Anko, if it will shut you up for five minutes then yes!"

"Yaaaaaay!"

'I should have paid more…a LOT more…'

* * *

He really couldn't believe what he was seeing, at first he thought it was a mirage, they had been out on the dusty plains for a while now…but as they drew closer it just became more and more plain…

There, before him, was a massive red pillar, a strange ornate thing that reached far into the clouds, well out of sight.

"I can't believe it….it's really real…"

Anko absently picked at her ear with a pinky, "What are you talking about? Your weird stick thing you keep saying exists? Good one Gaki, tell me another…"

He just turned to her in shock, "its _right here_!"

"Ya, and I'm the Daimyo's wife…"

"Look! I'll prove it!" At once he picked up a rock and threw it at the pillar, a satisfying 'thunk' resounding in the clearing, something that caused the Jonin to perk up, "See!"

She blinked and rubbed her eyes. She knew what she saw. He had thrown a rock, then the thing had _vanished_ when it made the impact, only to reappear and bounce onto the ground! "I think there was something in that dango…"

Naruto stood for a moment just looking up, his body practically _thrumming_ in excitement, this was it! The story hadn't been a lie! This was the place that the Sage of Six Path's himself had trained! According to the legend Kami himself was at the top, and the Sage took his teaching back to earth, giving birth to the ninja world!

What could he learn!?

What could he change!?

"Alright! Part two of the mission starts now! You wait here! I'll be back soon!"

Anko looked at him in shock, "Wait, what?"

The boy was already running towards the spot the rock had hit, sprinting as quick as he could as chakra flowed throughout his body.

Focusing on his feet.

Before she could really understand what was about to happen the boy's foot came up as though using the tree-walking exercise.

Then vanished.

"Awwwww….Fuck…."

* * *

'_W-what was I thinking?' _Another grunt as he pulled himself up the next segment. He had made incredible progress initially, his chakra more than enough to make it a fair way up the tower.

He thought.

However, it just seemed to keep going and going. Already the ground was well out of sight, the clouds being passed long ago, and still it just kept going…

'I…I don't know if I can really do this…' He paused for a moment; the fatigue had set in many hours ago. At the time he didn't think he had the option to stop, it was night, there were no outlets or the like for him to rest on, he only had the option of climbing, so when the chakra gave out he kept going with sheer muscle.

That was another six hours ago, now he was about to collapse, and from this height he was certain he would not survive. Steeling his resolve he pulled one hand free, already feeling the drop in his stomach from the sudden vertigo as he reached into his hip pouch and drew a brace of kunai. With quick work he had jammed the knives into the sides of the pillar before looping a rope though the rings, quickly coming up with a harness, and from there stretched a makeshift hammock between them, using another set of knives as backup as the winds were picking up a bit.

"Just a bit more…I will be the strongest Shinobi of all time…

* * *

Another twitch. "Let me see if I understand this…"

This was not a fun feeling….

"It took you a week to reach the coordinates that Naruto thought the location of this…master…would be…"

The feel of her coat sticking to her body in a cold sweat.

"Then, according to Naruto, he saw a red pillar stretching into the sky…but you dismissed it because you couldn't see it…"

The reason for that cold sweat was a few reasons actually…mainly the fact that she was currently surrounded by a battalion of ANBU, at their head was her own boss, Ibiki, standing right beside the Third. "I..I thought that he was just trying to sound big…you know, make it seem like we didn't waste our time…impress the girl, you know, Genin stuff…"

"I see…from there, he _proved it_ to you by throwing a stone at the pillar, one that vanished when it made contact."

"Y-yes sir."

"Then, before you could act, he apparently started climbing, making him vanish as well…"

"Yes sir…"

"And you didn't follow him…why?"

"He…he said that part two of the mission was starting, that I had to wait."

Another twitch from his eyebrow, "And you listened to him?"

"Y-yes…"

The old man gave a heavy sigh, "It is a week until the day of the finals Anko, where is Naruto?"

"H-he never came down…I was running low of previsions so I-"

"So you left? You left a Genin out there in the middle of Grass Country…a place that, while not hostile are not exactly allies…"

"He…I….I'm fucked aren't I?"

"Right in the down under…"

* * *

Ok…this _had _to be it…He had been fooled once before, he had seen what he thought was the top of the pillar only to find a, if he had to take a guess, small abandoned garden of some kind. Inside this place were a number of pots and jars with overgrown vines everywhere, most of which were baring a number of little green beans that looked a lot like soy beans, just much harder.

He'd filled his pockets with them, knowing that his supplies were running short, before he drank his fill from those pots and re-filled his skins.

The reason for all this and his current climb? The fact that thrust into the center of the garden was a large red pole. Not a massive pillar like he had been climbing, this seemed to just be a stick that could easily be held in hand, however, like this pillar, it stretched into the sky.

He knew he still had so far to go, but already reaching a place that to most everyone was just a myth only spurred him on. He tied some cloth about his blistered hands, and set to climbing once more. In the back of his mind was the nagging feeling that he should just turn back and be done with it. He needed to beat Neji, and if he spent the time he needed to walk back here climbing…

But still, the promise of what lay at the top…he couldn't just give up!

That was a day ago, the climbing was that much harder now, he couldn't use the tree-walking exercise, the pole was to smooth, so that chakra went to his hands and legs as he shimmied up higher in higher.

It was when he finished his last ration bar that he learned the amazing powers of the odd beans he had found. He had grabbed one to try, unsure if they were even poisonous, though rationalized that someone wouldn't have been growing them like that if they had been.

Beyond that, he'd never heard of a poisonous bean.

However, when he bit down on one he was surprised at the slightly fishy taste, the texture being rather grainy and stringy, not at all appealing, but he choked it down.

Instantly, he felt fuller than he ever had been in his life, and better still, all his fatigue was just gone!

The blond reached back into a pouch and marveled at the handful of beans before grinning and stuffing them back into the pouch. Looking back up the long red shaft he laughed, this was going to happen.

_HE WOULD REACH THE TOP!_

* * *

Sarutobi had been beside himself these past days. He had sent a team out to the spot that Naruto had vanished, and much to his shock they confirmed there was some form of column there, however, even when his ninja touched it and vanished, they couldn't see what they were touching or where the boy had gone. They had simply disappeared!

The elderly leader could only offer theories as to what had happened, it could have been Naruto's Uzumaki blood that allowed him to see it, it could have been the bijuu chakra, something that dated back to those ancient times if the legends could be believed. Beyond that he had taken back the book and read fully what it was that Naruto thought he would find at the top of that tower.

The greatest fighter in the universe.

In theory that man or woman was at the top of the odd tower, the personal guardian and attendant to Kami.

It was almost silly to think of; however the fact that Naruto had started his climb, something the Sage of Six Path's himself had done in the legends, did lend some credence to this theory.

Still, time had to march on, and as it stood it was just five days until the exams began and already there were problems afoot, namely the death of one of his Jonin, the proctor of the third exam, to an apparent wind technique.

All fingers were pointing at Sand, however there was no proof, so to the dismay of his friends and loved one, his hands were tied. All they could do for now was increase their patrols and try and prevent any more deaths. Though it seemed on the very night that his man had died so had a Genin from Sound.

However, to his surprise, his Jonin sensei didn't seem to care, only saying that he had achieved their goal, getting noticed by the other villages.

It was another glaring mystery to the old leader.

"Naruto my boy…you better hurry back soon…I have a feeling things are going to get bad here…"

* * *

That was it! He could see it! Another hour and he'd be there, he just knew it!

The place was massive, many times larger than the little garden area, a massive sphere in the sky, all seemingly held up by this little pole…

No matter! This was it! He was going to be trained by Kami!

He quickly munched another bean and poured on the chakra, gripping the pole with renewed strength as he pulled himself up all the faster. There it was, just a few dozen feet more, a large hole had the pole disappear into it, and from there…

It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness, but when they cleared he could see a platform, and an old, weathered notch the pole was set into. He had finally made it!

He threw himself onto the surface and just lay there, reveling in his victory for a moment before pulling himself to his feet. He pulled the cloth wraps off his hands, marveling that he was already healed and grinned while giving his still full pockets a pat.

Looking about he found a set of stairs, more climbing…but it couldn't be much further!

Another hour of wondering about had him reach the top! A massive white tiled plane stretched out before him bringing a smile to his lips.

"Finally…Now I can achieve my dream! I will become the greatest ninja in hi-"

His voice caught in his throat as his eyes locked on an odd sight. There before him was an overweight man with midnight black skin. He wore baggy white pants, a maroon vest and red sash with a white cloth wrapped about his head.

But that wasn't what gave him pause; it was the man's unnerving stare….wide unblinking eyes just…stared…

It was long and drawn out, an unassuming, inoffensive word…but it sent a chill of terror up his spine.

"Hi…."

* * *

The day of the tournament had come, and still there was no sign of Naruto. For many it seemed as if the boy had just dropped off the face of the earth, though given what a handful knew it could be quite likely that he rose above it.

Sarutobi had kept his forces at the base of that pillar the entire time, constantly relying reports back with messenger hawks, and despite a few of the ANBU getting bored and seeming to test the limits of the invisibility of the pillar, there was little else that could be done. With no idea of how far it reached he didn't dare send them beyond a range they felt comfortable with, which was shockingly low given the fact they couldn't see what they were standing on, potentially walking off their surface into the empty void and plummeting back to the surface.

Anko's punishment had, in the end, been on the lighter side, given that his own ANBU wouldn't venture far he could hardly blame her for coming back to report her findings. Beyond that she had been doing a fare better job of beating herself up over the whole ordeal, thinking that there was something she could have done to have stopped him, or at least accompanied him on that climb rather than just out and out doubting him.

Another sigh escaped his lips, something that was coming all too familiar to him these days. Before him were the gathered Genin, all save the Nara looking anxious as to what was to happen. Three were missing, one confirmed dead while Kakashi was still out of contact.

"Hokage-sama, it would seem we are a few short…didn't your most vaunted Uchiha make it to the final rounds?"

The aged leader gave a nod, "Indeed, however it would seem his sensei saw fit to take a scenic route…I'm afraid this doesn't bode well for his advancement chances…"

The Kazekage gave a slight nod before turning his attention back to the arena, "With luck he will be here in time, Garra has been looking for a challenge for some time, I was hoping that he find that in the boy."

"Understandable, though as it stands he may have to face off against either the Hyuuga or the Aburame, it's even possible that your children will be the finalists, though unlikely if I know my Jonin."

"Indeed…however, I must ask, where is the third, the Uzumaki boy I believe?"

The third lowered his head at that, his eyes hidden by the hat. "I'm afraid that young Naruto may not be coming, he engaged in some rather intense private training and went missing shortly after the preliminary round. A true pity, I'm sure he would give quite the show for everyone."

The two Kage stiffened….they suddenly felt like they weren't alone, even the ANBU stationed as guards went ridged as a voice echoed around them, one that drew out the words and just felt…wrong…

"I'll say."

Sarutobi looked to the left as the Kazekage looked right, there, between the two, was a man with a disturbingly wide eyed look and a toothless smile.

However, their attention was quickly pulled away by the shocked shouts from the crowd, following their gaze, and the eyes of this stranger, they looked up to see a young, blond haired man…was he flying!?

* * *

Genma didn't feel the senbon fall from his lips as he watched what looked to be a young Fourth Hokage land before him.

If the Fourth had a panache' for wearing orange…

And had scars on his face that looked like whiskers…

A rather cocky smirk with hardened eyes…

Not to mention he looked like he could lift boulders with little issue, how much physical conditioning did this kid _do_?

Okay, so not too much like the Fourth, but enough to make half the stadium gape while the others were set to talking adamantly about it. He knew that there were ninja with techniques for flight, though he honestly thought he would never see one in his lifetime.

"Did somebody order a plate of awesome?"

It took everything he had not to run a hand down his face in frustration. "N-Name?"

"Naruto Uzumaki, the answer to the question 'who is going to kick the ass of everyone in this arena!'"

The Jonin just looked long and hard at the teen, he really had trouble seeing it. Yeah, he had the blond hair, though it was much longer, and those bright blue eyes.

He even still wore orange, though it was far more subdued than his old jumpsuit, this instead was a black vest with orange interior that was cut short and left open, showing his rather shocking physique to all present. The orange came from what appeared to be the sleeves and collar rolled up tight, making it look almost like padding. His pants were white and quite baggy; the bottoms wrapped blue cloth to keep them tight while his waist was wrapped in a blue sash. The look was finished with a set of black bracers that glinted slightly in the morning light.

Genma eyed the odd Genin for several long moments before looking to the Kage booth, his eyes widening as he saw a man standing between the two with his hands clasped behind his back, one that looked rather portly and short, but the way he looked at them…

That _stare_…

* * *

"S-Sir…I don't know how you got here bu-"

"Damn right you don't."

That caught the two off guard Neither had ever been so blatantly disrespected before! "Now list-"

"**Shut up maggot!**" To the surprise of both, they did just that…they had felt it, somewhere deep within this man was a level of power that utterly dwarfed either of them.

This time the Hokage tried clearing his voice, still the man didn't so much as glace at them, instead looking down into the arena.

At Naruto.

"Sir, this booth is for the Kage's, so that we may oversee the Genin that are about to compete."

That same sing-song like voice came to those nearby, sending shivers down their spines, "Well well well, look who has his big boy pants. You're telling me that I should _leave_?"

The old man felt a cold sweat break out across his body, "Well…I…" Honestly, this hadn't ever happened before... "I…suppose we could get another chair…Mr?"

"Popo, and I don't sit with worthless maggots." Without so much as a twitch the man levitated into the air above them, his arms still clasped behind his back before he came to stand onto a rug that was just…_there_.

The name had a strange power to it, three birds fell out of the air dead, several dogs started barking while over a dozen babies in the stands started crying.

* * *

"N-Naruto? What happened to you?"

The teen turned his smirk to Skiha, "Well well, it's been a long time Shikamaru, still loafing around whenever you get the chance?"

The pineapple haired boy just gave a small smile, "Whenever my mom isn't riding my ass, yes."

He gave a chuckle at that, "Good to know some things didn't change. Wonder how the others are…Oh, Shino, still rockin' the 'fro eh?"

That caused the teen to arch an eyebrow, Naruto was acting like _they_ were the ones that changed…but here he was looking like he was suddenly in his late teens, what the hell did he do in that month off!? Before he could answer however Genma seemed to have recovered and chastised them for not looking professional, something that earned a scoff from Naruto. "Alright, enough of the chit-chat! You're here to look good for the nobles and show the strength of your villages. Now eyes forward and pay attention!" Most did just that, though if anything Naruto was still looking quite bored, though even that look faded as he looked to the Kage booth, or more specifically, _above_ the booth. Instantly his right hand came up in a fist to thump over his heart, a salute it would seem.

The odd man, Popo…only had his smile widen.

Sarutobi threw Naruto a rather confused look as his eyes flickered between the two for a few moments. No matter, he would get the whole story later. After a few quick words of welcome to the nobles and the finalists he settled back in his seat, eager to see what would come from this new Naruto.

* * *

This couldn't be right…

There was no _possible_ way that this was Naruto, he was too old looking, to rugged…to _cut_.

"Ino…"

That odd cropped vest, showing off…an _eight pack!?_ No freaking way…

"Ino!"

She couldn't really see it from here…the pants were too baggy, but that _ass_…oh it had to be made of _marble_…

"HEY PIGGY!"

"Dwah?"

Sakura just let out an annoyed sigh, "You were _drooling_, what up?"

The blond just looked at her frenmey for a long moment before just gesturing with both hands towards the arena, as if it were the simplest thing in the world to see. "Um…Duh?"

The rosette just scoffed, "Please, you know Naruto, he's just out to make an entrance! It's probably a henge and wires, nothing more."

Ino just gave an appreciative murmur, "Then he should use it more often…"

"You can't be serious, what about Sasuke-kun!?"

She just waved her off, "Not now, you're interrupting mama's special time…"

Another long stare…then Sakura edged away from her old friend, what the hell was going on with her?

* * *

"Would Neji Hyuuga and Naruto Uzumaki please step forward, everyone else head to the observation platform." Genma waited a few moments for the group to comply, though the looks that the Suna Kunoichi kept sending her fellow blond made it seem like it was quite the struggle. "Now then, the rules are the same from the preliminary rounds. You will fight until one is unable to battle, or until I step in and call the match, any questions?"

Two shakes of their heads.

"Good, then round one of the Chunin exams…BEGIN!" With a blur he was gone.

Yet the two didn't move. Naruto just had his arms crossed over his chest, thick cords of muscle straining from even that, while Neji simply stood, watching him for a long moment before shutting his eyes in a contemptuous gesture of superiority. "You should just give up Uzumaki, fate has already decreed me the winner, no amount of physical training could overcome that."

Naruto's smirk just grew, "You know, you keep saying words, but all I'm hearing is 'Hit me Naruto, please kill me, Kami this outfit makes me look fat!'"

The pale eyed teen just scowled at the blond, how _dare _that peasant say such things to him! He quickly stopped into the family stance and readied himself, "Small words from a small mind _boy_. Prepare yourself, you face the might of a H-"

His words were cut off by a meaty '_crack' _as Naruto's fist collided quite firmly with his nose.

Most didn't even see him _move_.

Neji reeled back from the force of the blow, blood streaming from the damaged appendage as it already looked to be swelling quite badly, "H-How dare you strike me whi-"

'_CRACK!'_

Again, right in the nose.

"Son of a bitch! I wasn't read-"

'_CRUNCH!'_

"Damnit stop!"

That same infuriating smirk shown through the lights dancing through Neji's vision. "Why? The man said 'start', not 'sonnet', hardly my fault that you can't stand up to me."

Shaking away his dizziness the teen wiped the blood on his sleeve before spitting out a mouthful, he knew it was broken, a few times it seemed, but he could go on! Again he dropped into his family stance before dashing forward, his Byakugan blazing in furry as he stepped close.

'_THWAK!'_

Neji skidded away from the blindingly fast backhand, "Heh, looks like Naruto's going to have to teach you the pecking order…"

The Hyuuga staggered back to his feet as he held his cheek, what the hell had happened to this guy?

"There's _you_, the dirt…the worms inside of the dirt. Lord Popo's _stool_, Naruto, Kami, then Popo. Any questions?"

"Wh-"

'_BAM!' _and Neji found himself imbedded in the wall.

"Enjoy the walk back home, _bitch_! Proctor, call it. I'm done here."

Genma took a moment to watch Neji, seeing if the boy would pull himself free, but it seemed like he was unconscious…"W-winner, Naruto Uzumaki!"

The blond stretched out both hands, waiting and welcoming the applause, though it was scattered and few, most still being to shocked at the way their 'guaranteed win' had been slapped around. Seeing he wasn't going to get anything more just yet he shrugged before floating into the sky again, drifting lazily over to the competitors box.

It was low at first, a strange chuckle, then grew into a full, high pitched belly laugh.

"Oh, I knew he and I would get along _just fine_."


End file.
